December 1, 2013 marked for me a completion of ten years in book publishing. I have learned so much these last ten years. But it seems that most of the real, life-changing lessons have happened in the last three or four years. It hasn't not been easy at all (mostly personally), but it has been good.
When someone at the office called to congratulate me, they asked me what words of wisdom could I share with them from my last ten years. I answered them with quite a few things from my list below.
I will admit that am publishing this list more for me than for you. :) I hope you don't mind (or at any time while reading this post, you can start playing that "hurry-up-and-get-off-the-stage" music that they play at award shows when the winner is going to long on their thank-yous). It's kind of long and you may not read it all, but what you do read I hope will bless you as it has me.
10 Things I've Learned from 10 Years in Book Publishing
1. Slow the heck down.
I can be so fast and driven at times. My thought when I first started in publishing is that I would work for a company for about two or three years and be out. That was the game plan. Don't get too comfortable anywhere, I coached myself. I was twenty-something and stupid. I had some stuff to learn. So grateful things didn't go the way I had planned. This lesson took me about eight or nine years to fully catch on to. I pushed and pulled, trying to make things happen for myself. So impatient. It drove me straight to a mini melt-down in 2007. I have one of my dear lady bosses to thank for this lesson. Upon her retirement she called me in her office for my last employee review with her and said something like, "Jevon, you may think I wasn't moving you along fast enough, but I really feel you have what it takes to be here for a long time, to learn each level and to excel. I wanted you to really master each level before moving on." She seemed to be saying to me that she slowed me down so that I could really have a solid foundation in publishing, really learn the process so that I could add to it, revise it, update it... I appreciate that she had the wisdom to see that I was too fast for my own good. I am thankful for her deliberate leadership. There are valuable lessons to be learned as we journey through life, and sometimes we have to slow down or be slowed down to get them. I am thankful God didn't just leave it to me to decide. He took control of my life lessons because of what He has planned for me in the future. Thank You, God!
2. Take things personally.
I know, I know: it's not personal; it's business. What I have learned is that I must take things personally to do an above-average job in business and personal relationships. I have to bring my whole self to the table if I want to see something be successful. I connect my work with my name, my family's name, and God's name. When I think about making a good impression, I think about the way people will remember me--not my business or my company. And they will remember. People connect with me before they connect with anything I am selling. Taking things personally also guarantees that I am going to do my absolute best most of the time (truthfully, I'm just not perfect). When I think about my name going on something, I think about how long it will be there, who will see it, what will it say about me, and what future opportunities will this invite or hinder for me, my family, or my company. I like my name to be associated with brilliance, problem-solving, team spirit, good ideas, dependability, follow-through, high-quality output, creativity, and integrity. All above bar. When people see Jevon Bolden, I want them to associate me with these traits. So I've learned to take things personally. It's my personal accountability system (PAS--cool, a new acronym).
3. It's OK to not always get what I want.
What is for me and this house, is for me and this house. What's not is not, no matter how much I think it is at the time. These ten years have shown me that it is only a matter of time before I see why I couldn't get what I wanted when I wanted it. And I am usually quite happy I didn't get it. So I don't get impatient too much anymore or freak out when something takes a different turn than I wanted it to.
I may fight for it a little bit, but there are those times when I feel the sense that I need to release it.
I am learning to chill and anticipate the signs of what is for me and what is not for me.
That gives me peace and patience like I have never had before--trusting that God is in control and He has my best at heart.
Be patient; the truth will reveal itself in due time, and I will rejoice and say, "Thank You, God, for not giving me that!"
4. Communicate with graceful confidence.
Even in negotiations, I still have to communicate with grace. For me this ties into #2. Who am I representing when I communicate? What am I saying about myself, my family, and God? What do I want people to remember? How would I want someone to communicate with me in the same situation? I consider that what I sow I will reap. I have been talked down to and I have felt that thing rising in my chest, and yes, I do have the capability to "go there" and back--quick trip, straight shot. But then what? What did I gain from that? I've disrespected myself, my family, God, the other person, my company... And I still didn't get what I really wanted--a yes (my goal is usually getting to a yes. That's pretty much it. "Yes, Jevon. We like where you are coming from. Let's do this"). All I did was prove myself right and I am sure the person still thinks I'm wrong. I do believe that you can get more bees with honey. Of course there are times when things need to be clarified and boundaries established, but that can be done with grace as well.
5. Pray for supernatural ability to connect with the author's motivations and revelations.
Being able to know and understand what revelation or life experience moved the author to write their book helps me to shape and mold it in that direction. Sometimes I have the opportunity to hear this directly from the author, sometimes I don't. Then sometimes I hear it from the author and I still don't know what they're talking about. LOL! I'm sure that's my bad. Sometimes I find a message online or a CD or DVD of them ranting about something they are passionate about and I just know. Something clicks inside of me and I am instantly connected to what drives them. I know where they want to go with their message and why. When I get this sense, I am able to complete their sentences and sound just like them. I am able to help them say what they meant to say. I am able to help them shine. I have learned to pray for this ability. I have learned to pray for this to be downloaded into my spirit, especially for heavier edits where the author is not a writer or the best communicator on paper. Whatever draws thousands to hear them speak, I want to edit in a way that captures that "thing" and draws thousands and millions to read their books. When I get that download, editing is easier, I can see the big picture, I can see what's missing, and I can see what is not necessary. Their message becomes tangible and pliable to me like clay in a potter's hands. The process to a finished, set, and polished project becomes so clear! I love when this happens! God is faithful to answer my prayers.
6. Pray for/look for ah-ha moments, victories, innovations, and successes to keep the excitement going.
These things inspire me and endear me to my work. They keep me coming back day after day. "What new and exciting thing is going to happen today?" "What new thing can I create, idea can I develop, or author can I connect with?" This is how I think when I feel boredom or dissatisfaction creeping in. I even ask God to help me by bringing things to my mind or causing something to come across my desk. I pray about this a lot. I pray for energy. I pray for motivation. I pray for inspiration. I pray for good interactions with my coworkers. God is my helper and my partner in life. You would think that with my love for what I do, it shouldn't really take all this, but ten years of sitting at the computer and reading other people's ideas can become pretty monotonous--even if they are all best sellers, which they are not.
7. Set routines for myself.
I naturally rebel against tight structure. I need room to stretch out, take risks, and be creative. I have a natural bent that allows me to self-motivate and self-correct, so I feel stifled, sad, and uninspired when it feels like the reigns are too tight. But I absolutely thrive with guidelines. My personal routines for getting things done are like my self-appointed guidelines. This is what has to kick in after moving out of the parents' house and graduating from college. It's really time discipline but who likes that word? Over the years I had been advised to wake up earlier so that I could get done all that I needed to do for work and family. Instead of adjusting and doing, I will admit that I rebelled, hoping that something from my responsibilities would go away. I'm being honest. But that didn't happen. It wasn't supposed to happen. As a matter of fact, my responsibilities increased. I believe that this is because of where God wants to take me in the future. I believe that wherever I am headed it will be of the utmost importance for me to be a master of resources and time. This is not about my inability to say no. That's a lesson I learned about five years ago. I know how to say no.
In this season of my life, I have been given responsibility in three arenas--family, ministry, and work. In order for me to increase the ROI in each area I have to be disciplined and that is where routines have come in over the last couple of years. They evolve with the seasons, but I they give me guidelines to work within. I have a weekday morning routine, a workday routine, an weekday evening routine, a Saturday routine, and a Sunday routine. They give me life in each area that I have never experienced before. It's like I have multiplied my time to do things I thought I would never be able to do even when I had less responsibilities. Some of the older women in my life tried to tell me this for years, but I was twenty-something and deaf. I truly believe these routines will take me into the next ten years and beyond, seeing great results in all that I am called to.
8. Make a to-do list.
Man! This has saved my life on so many occasions when the inspiration and fluffy ah-ha moments were no where in sight. I wake up every day. I have to produce every day. I have to care for my family every day. To-do lists keep in front of me what's important beyond what I feel inspired to do. With my natural affinity for lists, being able to check things off my lists at the end of the day keeps me feeling accomplished and productive, which breeds confidence and self-worth, which breeds happy feelings, which breeds inspiration and creativity. And listen, I don't always make long to-do lists. There are days where there are one or two items I want to see crossed off--and that is all I focus on. I try not to overshoot. I try to be realistic so that I can fuel myself with even the small things I accomplish. Bottom line: sometimes you gotta do what you don't want to do on the road to being where you want to be.
9. Keep myself healthy and well rested.
I have long underestimated the power of a consistent healthy lifestyle regimen. Sleep--what a powerful immune-boosting, energy-increasing, weight-loss, mood enhancer. Why in the world would I not go to bed at a decent hour? Eating well--lots of fruits and veggies, good dairy and protein. I grew up this way. Why would I turn my back on it? Daily exercise has brought an energy to me that I haven't had since before my babies were born. The oldest is eleven. I have learned that if I want to be able to face challenges, clearly understand people, make complex decisions, and develop compelling concepts, I need to be well rested and not hungry or overstuffed. My brain is clear and my attitude has hope, energy, and life when I take care of myself. My job is hugely cerebral and I need all the nutrients and healthy fats and blood flow possible. Good food, sleep, and exercise gives me all that and more. Can't really live without them.
10. Take a freaking vacation!
I have my dear friend Dinah Dycus (RIP) to thank for this one. She caught me one day talking about feeling down and exhausted. She just simply said in her bright, easy-breezy way, "Why don't you just actually plan a real vacation? Like really plan to go away. To a hotel. Maybe to the beach. It doesn't have to cost a lot." She waited while I looked at her blankly, shrugged, and went back to her cubie. I promise, I felt like I had been left with the most profound thing I had heard in all my life up to that point. I took her advice and went on vacation a few weeks later and every year since, I have made it a priority to plan sometime for my family and me to get away from it all and wash our cares away at the beach. It is one of the best things I can do for us. Bonus lesson: Being in publishing and living in Florida is a super-duper plus!