As we come to the end of Women’s History Month, I wanted to make space for a special guest whom I met last year at the "Connect and Expand" author retreat facilitated by Ellis and Ellis Consulting Group (EECG). I was one of the guest speakers and the funny (you should see her cut up on Facebook), smart, and fully engaged Sheridan S. Davis was one of the many amazing authors I had a chance to meet. Her book Pretty for a Dark-Skin Girl stood out to me and the theme of her book, which we'll get to, opens up a subject that carries significant implications regarding the history of the socialization of women of color around the world. When I learned of her book, the title immediately intrigued me. It has a polished and salable ring to it, and as Sheridan interacted with the group and me, I could see that her book project was more than an attempt at being a rich and famous author. Her book contained a passionate purpose that is her reason for waking every morning.
I invited Sheridan to write a guest post for my blog, because her book and her passion to encourage and heal people in areas concerning race dovetails closely with what I'd like to see myself do in this next season of life. That she is a PK and so am I is purely coincidental--I think!
As an editor, I have learned to spot the author who gets it—and Sheridan gets it. A very beautiful woman indeed, both inside and out, regardless of her skin color, Sheridan owns the message of Pretty for a Dark-Skin Girl with power, wholeness, and compassion. She self-published the book in early 2015 and since then has taken it so far as to have written and produced a play carrying the same name and theme, which is currently running at select venues in the Chicago area.
Pretty for a Dark-Skin Girl tells of Sheridan’s firsthand experience with a very ugly prejudice common among people of color called colorism. A discriminatory practice that perpetuates disparate and preferential treatment for lighter-skinned people of color over darker-skinned people of color, colorism is not necessarily perpetrated by white people, though it has racist roots. Some of the most hurtful and scarring abuse comes from within one’s own ethnic group. (For more on this, check out my follow-up post.)
Sheridan’s book talks plainly and directly about the affects these things have had on her and others. She offers help, encouragement, and a path to healing for those who have also lived through this kind of shaming and torment. I strongly encourage you to buy her book and read it. Then buy copies for friends and neighbors.
I appreciate Sheridan’s boldness and bravery in writing a book like this and giving a voice to the emotional pain she and so many others have suffered throughout a lifetime. And please be sure that it is not only the victim who is being hurt. Those who receive favor because of involuntary genetic traits and capitalize on that privilege are also hurting. You can’t hurt another without hurting yourself. That is the interesting dynamic of being human.
So please welcome Sheridan Davis to my blog as she shares her inspiration for writing her story, her path to publication, and her advice for others who also have a story burning in them.
Sheridan Davis, Writing to Empower
Wow! It's Women’s History Month, which follows Black History Month in our nation. That's why I'm honored to write about an issue that continues to haunt black people, specifically black women—colorism. As black women we hear, have heard, or said phrases such as, “Get out of the sun. You don’t want to get no blacker,” or my personal pet peeve, for those of us who happen to be of a darker hue, “You're pretty for a dark-skin girl.”
Colorism is defined as "prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group." When we use phrases like this, we continue to pass on the idea that people of lighter hues are somehow better than their darker brothers and sisters. It stems from slavery.
During this period of slavery, black slaves were oftentimes raped and bred by white slave masters. They would produce children who were biracial and would sometimes have lighter skinned. Although one would think the children produced through these heinous sexual assaults were technically born “half-slave” and “half-white,” according to the law, if you had a drop of black blood in you, you were black. So, these "mixed" (a common term used to describe biracial people) babies were still considered slaves, but because they were related to the master, they received different treatment. Typically, those "mixed" slaves got to work in the house, whereas the slaves with darker complexions worked in the field.
What message does this communicate to the slaves? “The closer to white you are, the better!” We see this mind-set in the media. We see it in hair texture discrimination, entertainment, and more. This does not just happen in the black community, but being an African American woman, I chose to focus on how this affected me.
Just a few weeks ago another darker-complexioned woman said to me, “You're so pretty for a dark-skin girl. You know there's not a lot of cute dark-skin people out here.” How sad. Colorism has reared its ugly head in my life so much and has caused me so much pain that I decided to write a memoir about it entitled Pretty for a Dark-Skin Girl.
I had my first run-in with colorism at eight years old. I can recall that day from start to finish, as it has replayed in my mind often. I tell the whole story in my book about how I was taunted by a young girl in school for being “too black.”
I had since run into several young women who have dealt with the same issues, and I would give them the same words of encouragement I would've wanted someone to give me. Once I realized one of my gifts was to encourage and build people up, I wondered how I could better operate in my gift. Since I was already doing a lot of this in church and was serving through my purity ministry, Let's Talk About Sex Campaign, I began to think of what more I could do. That’s when I took to social media and began to use my platform to encourage others. I would talk about self-worth, God, temptation, and so on. Then one day, I got a phone call from my father who said, "Sheridan, I just looked at your Twitter! You're giving away a load of great studied material. This right here is a book."
Ding, ding, ding! That's when it hit me: I WILL BECOME AN AUTHOR. And I did. In 2014 I released my first book, Saved Sex, which is about abstinence. Sexual purity was a passion of mine, but I knew I would soon need tell my story—my struggle with self-esteem. So I wrote Pretty for a Dark-Skin Girl and released it nine months later.
For my first book, a ghostwriter helped me along the way. I would speak my thoughts or send him tweets. Then he would compile them into book form. When it came to Pretty for a Dark-Skin Girl, I knew I needed to write every word from top to bottom, so I refused the help of a ghostwriter. This story is so important and dear to me that I wanted it to come straight from the source. I did research on how to write a memoir, prepared an outline, decided which stories I wanted to share in my book, and went from there.
I was graced with two great friends to help me get my book published—one is an editor and the other is a publisher. They form the founding team behind Ellis and Ellis Consulting Group (EECG). It was a no-brainer for me to go to them for my publishing needs. I am really happy with my choice. I wanted to go the independent route and have some kind of control in the process, and I was afforded that privilege with EECG.
To promote my book, I use social media and email a lot. I’m also a pastor’s daughter, so I promote the book in every church door I walk into, every salon, and any other place I can. I’m a walking billboard.
To anyone who is thinking of writing, first ask yourself, “Why would this story matter to anyone else?” If you can’t think of an answer outside of “It's my life story,” you may want to rethink things. If your motivation is money, keep your book. There is little money to be made unless you work it. The point is, we all have a voice. If you choose to lift yours, say something that’s worth saying and say it proud. Never let your work die. Work it.
With that mind-set, I wrote a play based on Pretty for a Dark-Skin Girl, which hit the stage May 14, 2016, in the Chicagoland area. I was so excited to see the story breathe again and take on an extra pair of legs.
Aspiring authors, be willing to reinvent yourselves. When you die, your work should still live on. But it can only live if you make it breathe. Do the work!